Plan B is the new Plan A
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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