I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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