sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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