I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
