But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
