hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Please, let me fuck your mom
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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