Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
