a search helicopter?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
