I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
