we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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