Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
