i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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