My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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