awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
