This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
ok first of all what the fuck
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
