Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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