Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
