I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
