I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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