i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
