erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Randomize
