I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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