I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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