Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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