is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
