Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
