It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
