She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
