Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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