yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
