so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
