so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
