So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
