Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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