I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
