guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
