bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
