Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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