How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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