We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
