he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize