I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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