last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
