You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I need a beard to bite.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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