2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
