why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
