Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need to sanitize my soul.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i now understand why vodka
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize