proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
COCAINE IS GR8
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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