he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
