she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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