Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
