I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
