you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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