I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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