coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
