i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
