life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
