I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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