I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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