I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
