Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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