dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
