So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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