Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize